Nothing Left to Gain

Tell me you love me. Then tell me what it buys you. I was about to ask you the same. My father put a lock inside my head; One phrase could drag me back among the dead. Their cure was pain. The room was white and bare. I learned that love could choose to leave me there. I took the throne. I never left the room Where footsteps meant that pain was coming soon. You wear the Sith Code like a second skin. Don't call it kindness. Tell me what you win. Blue skin beneath the Empire's black, A boy who learned no one was coming back. I let one lover see beneath the blade; They turned the trust I gave into a trade. I know the price of being someone's need, The empty chair when they were done with me. Keep your throne. I won't be yours to claim. We turn our backs. We meet at war again. A broken truce, a transport shot apart. Another mission, not a change of heart. Of all the stars, it's you across the smoke. Some thread keeps pulling. We don't call it hope. Will you stay when there's nothing left to gain? No throne to claim, no debt I have to pay. When I can't be the strength you need today, Will you stay? Leave the door open. Leave me the choice. Don't call it love if I must lose my voice. Don't swear forever. Let the morning come. Be here when there is nothing to be won. Months into years, we argued just the same. You wouldn't bless the harm done in my name. You left when I demanded you obey; Next time we met, I asked if you would stay. You set a cup beside me, then withdrew. No price to pay. Nothing I had to do. One night, that room was all that I could see; You sat outside and left the latch to me. Don't say you understand. Not all of it. But I know why you watch the door. Then leave it open. It is. You saw my hands shake after we'd come through; I didn't have to hide them there with you. You sat beside me on the cold ship floor And never asked what I was useful for. We learned the silence, not each other's minds. Your hand found mine. We let it take its time. Then came the kiss. By dawn, I lay awake, Afraid of what this love would let you take. You want my power. Say it. That's the game. You'll leave the day you cease to need my name. We slept alone behind familiar walls, Both hearing goodbye in unanswered calls. Will you stay when there's nothing left to gain? No throne to claim, no debt I have to pay. When fear puts someone else's face on you, What do we do? Leave the door open. Leave me the choice. Don't call it love if I must lose my voice. Don't swear forever. Let the morning come. Be here when there is nothing to be won. I said you were like him. That wasn't true. I made an old betrayal out of you. I left before you ever asked me to. I heard goodbye each time you needed room. Whatever bends the stars can bring us near; It cannot choose what we do with our fear. We ask for space, then come back when we say. Still scared. Still here. Still choosing, day by day. Years building back the homes our anger burned; No kiss could clear the debts that we had earned. The nights grew quiet. Still, we couldn't bear To bring new life into the fear out there. No child should have to grow up like we did. There are children already here. Two children left behind by passing fleets, Who hid their bread and wouldn't fall asleep. We signed the papers, made the spare rooms theirs. No child should have to earn somebody's care. We'll stay when there's nothing left to gain. No throne to claim, no debt you have to pay. Two little coats beside our armor hang; We learn their fears, the songs they like to sing. You needn't love us back to have a home. You needn't heal us. That is ours alone. The galaxy still burns beyond the glass; Here, little footsteps needn't run so fast. A broken cup. They wait for us to shout. I sweep the pieces. You bring breakfast out. It's only a cup. Nothing to earn. You can stay.