The Days You Gave Us

They say I saved the galaxy. Kaidan... I couldn't bring you home. I breathe because you stayed. I wish you hadn't had to. Two voices breaking through the gunfire, Virmire counting down to light. You kept the geth back from the bomb. I turned toward Ashley's voice. You said that I had chosen right; I couldn't make those words my own. My first impossible command - and you were still so calm. The Normandy was full of breathing. I couldn't bear to hear my own. I asked him why he hadn't left me. Your empty place said nothing back. The first time that he held me close, I cried for you against his chest. I found a future in his arms. You should have been there for the rest. For every day you gave us, for every morning side by side, we carry more than just your absence. We carry what you kept alive. In every life we brought back breathing, in the worlds you never saw, thank you for the days you gave us. You were with us through them all. When the first Reaper fell above us, I missed your voice among the cheers. Then death gave back the breath it took me. Your name still hurt to say. I took you through the dark relay they said no one came back through. Another crew came home to daylight. I still looked for you. When we were strangers on Horizon, I couldn't trust who he'd become. But even with that space between us, I never mourned for you alone. When Earth burned, I stood beside him. We learned to trust through all that pain. Before each fight, I touched your name upon the wall, and took you with me. For every day you gave us, for every morning side by side, we carry more than just your absence. We carry what you kept alive. In every life we brought back breathing, in the worlds you never saw, thank you for the days you gave us. You were with us through them all. I came home when the war was over. She laid her hand against my heart. We learned to sleep without our armor, but never put your memory down. We built a school for children like you, blue light trembling in their hands. No one has to break them to teach them. Your name is written by the door. Our firstborn held my finger tight. We named our little boy Kaidan. Not to bring you back in someone else - to let your name mean hope again. I call it out across the garden, and little footsteps race to me. Sometimes I have to stop and breathe. I wish you could have heard that sound. I still wish there'd been another way. The joy we found can't make it fair. For every day you gave us, for every morning side by side, we carry more than just your absence. We carry what you kept alive. Our little boy will know your story, not just the ending carved in stone. Thank you for the days you gave us. Your name comes running home. Each spring, we walk this path together. I kneel and brush your headstone clean. I help his small hands lay the flowers. Three shadows rest beside your name. We tell him how you used to laugh. There's more to you than that last day.